Corporate Rules

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Corporate Rules

Rule-1
The Boss is always right.
Rule-2
If the Boss is wrong, see rule 1.
Rule-3
Those who work get more work.
Others get pay, perks, and promotions.
Rule-4
Ph.D. stands for "Pull Him Down".
The more intelligent a person,
The more hardworking a person,
The more committed a person;
The more number of persons are engaged
in pulling that person down.
Rule-5
If you are good, you will get all the work.
If you are really good, you will get out of it.
Rule-6
When the Bosses talk about improving productivity,
They are never talking about themselves.
Rule-7
It doesn't matter what you do,
It only matters what you say you've done
and what you are going to do.
Rule-8
A pat on the back is only a few centimeters
from a kick in the butt.
Rule-9
Don't be irreplaceable.
If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
Rule-10
The more crap you put up with,
The more crap you are going to get.
Rule-11
If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit.
No use being a damn fool about it.
Rule-12
When you don't know what to do,
Walk fast and look worried.
Rule-13
Following the rules will not get the job done.
Rule-14
If it weren't for the last minute,
Nothing would get done.
Rule-15
Everything can be filed under "Miscellaneous".
Rule-16
No matter how much you do,
You never do enough.
Rule-17
You can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work
you are supposed to be doing.
Rule-18
In order to get a promotion,
You need not necessarily know your job.
Rule-19
In order to get a promotion,
You only need to pretend that you know your job.
Rule-20
The last person that quit or was fired will be
held responsible for everything that goes wrong.

cheers!